Recently, my husband and I spent an afternoon with friends — let’s call them Oliver and Lisa. They’ve been leasing commercial space to a non-profit, and despite the best of intentions, the arrangement isn’t going well.
They did everything right. Solid, highly recommended property manager. A contract full of clearly defined stipulations and guardrails. And yet — neighbors are complaining, obligations aren’t being met, and the situation is quietly unraveling.
So why is it going sideways despite clear expectations?
Because setting expectations is only half the equation.
Sometimes things go wrong due to genuine extenuating circumstances — an employee misses a deadline because they got sick, or a full system failure prevents the team from finishing a project. Life happens, and great leaders know how to meet those moments with empathy.
Other times, there are individuals who simply don’t approach their work with the same level of urgency or ownership that you, as a leader, expect. And that’s a very different situation — one that calls for a very different response.
As leaders, our ability to distinguish between these two scenarios is critical. One calls for empathy. The other calls for accountability. Confusing the two is where things start to break down.
As Lisa walked us through the list of reasons their tenants had given for non-compliance, a pattern emerged. These weren’t isolated extenuating circumstances — they were a consistent inability, and perhaps unwillingness, to follow the agreed-upon terms. Lisa had been extending the benefit of the doubt, one story at a time, without stepping back to see the full picture.
The result? Nothing changed. Because true ownership never materialized on the tenant’s side — and accountability never kicked in on Lisa’s.
Oliver and Lisa are now working with their property manager to document every infraction, reset expectations, and establish a clear escalation path. They’re hopeful. Their property manager isn’t. And honestly, based on what I’ve heard — neither am I. In my experience, the volume and pattern of infractions over just six months tells you something important about what’s likely to come.
I’ve been in Oliver and Lisa’s position before — with employees. You hope something will shift. You adjust your leadership style, reset expectations, extend empathy, listen to the story. And sometimes that works. But often it doesn’t — because you cannot take ownership of someone else’s behavior. You can only own your half of the equation.
That’s why the Clarity-Accountability Loop matters so much.
Define expectations clearly. Hold people to them consistently. Close the loop. That’s it.
It sounds simple — and conceptually it is — but executing both halves with equal discipline is where most leaders struggle. They’re strong on clarity but soft on accountability. Or so focused on accountability that they skip the clarity entirely — and then wonder why their team feels blindsided.
So, here’s a question worth sitting with: which half of the loop are you better at? And what would it look like to strengthen the other?
Getting sharper at both will change how your team performs — and how you show up as a leader.
