Over eight weeks earlier this year, I reconnected with dozens of friends and former colleagues — people I’ve known across twenty-plus years in tech. Different companies, different levels, different stages of career.
One frustration kept surfacing: influencing and communication.
Specifically, the gap between having great ideas and actually getting them across. Between knowing what needs to happen and getting others to move.
At the Director level, that gap is where careers stall.
You’ve likely already mastered execution. What separates the Directors who accelerate from those who plateau is the ability to bring others along — peers, senior stakeholders, cross-functional partners who don’t report to you and don’t have to listen.
That’s influence. And it’s a skill, not a personality trait.
Why this matters more without authority
Influence becomes critical the moment your success depends on people you can’t direct. In HR, that’s always been the reality — driving major people initiatives with responsibility but no formal authority. But it’s just as true for Directors in Engineering, Product, Finance, and beyond.
The leaders who move fast learn to get buy-in rather than mandate compliance. The ones who stall keep waiting for the authority that may never fully arrive.
How to start playing the long game of influence
- Deliver first. You cannot influence without credibility, and credibility comes from execution. Be known for delivering on time, at high quality, consistently. That reputation is your foundation — without it, none of the tactics below will stick
- Match your medium to your audience. Before you communicate anything, ask: how does this person digest information? A data-driven VP wants a tight spreadsheet. A relationship-oriented stakeholder wants a conversation before the deck. Read your audience and meet them there
- Frame around their priorities, not yours. Identify what your audience wants and what they want to avoid — then build your case in those terms. You don’t need 100% overlap; roughly 60% alignment to their goals is usually enough to get them open to your solution. Negotiate the details from there
- Prepare more than feels necessary. Whatever form your pitch takes — a meeting, an email, a presentation — refine it. Check every number. Anticipate the obvious objections. Don’t rely on momentum or goodwill to carry an under-prepared argument
- Listen to the no. Resistance is data. If you’re getting push-back, don’t push harder — get curious. What specifically isn’t working for them? Thank them, go back, rework the approach. Sometimes that means bringing in a different voice or ally the next time around
- Stay in it. Influence is rarely a single conversation. The leaders who build real organizational pull are the ones who treat it as a long game — persistent, patient, and willing to iterate
The bottom line
Mastering influence won’t just make your current role easier. It’s the capability that opens doors to the next level — and the one after that.
If any of these points sparked something, or if there’s one you want to go deeper on, I’d love to hear it.
